my tirupati experience

after my panel discussion- which was about bhakti and its contribution to wellness, this concert followed. i too had concluded with a kabir bhajan and so did these artists. they are the eminent dhrupad singers- gundecha brothers from bhopal. you just have to click this button and whatever i recorded would come alive for you. give it a shot.

PRAYERS SENT YOUR WAY

dear god, i hope you will visit our blog today, because this is urgent.
there is a soul so beautiful caught in an ailing body,
it has not lived its share of happiness yet,
it hasn't had time to paint the world in a hue only it knows,
this soul has sung songs of your glory in pain,
it has celebrated your world in darkness,
let it not pass thru this world unknown.
you have more sense than this, to take a life with a purpose as glorious as you.

yours sincerely
march.postings

a rose from my garden for you

this my dear friend is a rose that blossomed in my garden. no longer it lives except in my photograph of it. but i did want to share the image with you. a symbol of friendship, hope and brightness...

a part of my time goes this way...

this video will give you an insight my dears. i love the energy of the dogs and though am unable to train them right now, i take from them the sense of fun and activity. but apart from that no serious singing work is happening. i did of course get my second tanpura here as well today.

PARENTAL PLIGHT

getting my child to find a school is becoming a block----it is blocking all the energy, time i have and soon money will flow that way too. there are examining bodies to decide on first, then the schools and finally who will let u in. middle class typically spends a large share of its earning on childs education, therefore the need to invest time in this exercise.
the school matters but just how much i am not sure.
in my childhood all that the parents ever did was to take the little one for interview sessions to schools in the vicinity but today my cousin is willing to shift into a rented accommodation next to a good school. all good schools are nestled in certain neighborhoods as if kids across can do without quality education.
the thing to go for is I.B. EDUCATION, now look at the fuuny side---only four schools with I.B in all of delhi and gurgaon or lets say gurgaon and vicinity.
i musrt go to isha who is out of bed now.

today the blues showed their head...

i was so lost today. dont know why but i felt the blues coming somewhere...

one of the pack

guess what ...i found in this neighbourhood a teacher who owed to teach me from ten years ago. well we sat together and he still wants to give his inputs and i am somewhat amused and somewhat grateful. so let's see.

but something is the matter with you my dear tuk. you have been taken to hospital and i am wondering and worrying why. i hope its for the best. meanwhile R i do hope you are seriously making an attempt to come by. it will resolve a few things for both of us.but first you have to have courage in your heart to do something like this. nobody goes to stay at a friend's locally...unless they share a part of their destinities with them. i wonder if you realise that. love to you always.

as far as i am concerned. mishraji has agreed to come here! so once a week i sing to my heart's content and that is quite a big thing for now. hey i want to share a moview with you- koi sunta hai- made on kabir by someone and who has taken some footage of me too.

fireworks

fireworks
Originally uploaded by hlchen1220

that's what we need...fireworks...to light up our minds, our imaginations and our souls.and hey all of you ! stop this lamentation- this moaning and weeping over yourself. have no doubt about who you are and your art. oh yes! we all need validation from the world occasionally, but that does not mean that till the time the world does not acknowledge us we do not exist.

we exist and there is meaning in our lives too and we are here to perform something which none but us will do. i think it is ok to periodcially fall into the blues but living there and liking the dwelling enough to make a home for your soul there is disservice to yourself and the energy of the cosmos that planned you with a certain idea.

stop this my dears. may the lights of diwali illumine our souls and fire our imaginations once again.

Outdated

As i grow older in days and wrinkles i feel lost in the tech savvy world which talks in a parlance of today. I am outdated in body, mind and soul. I look a specimen from the past, striving hard to understand blogs, internet and my soul wishes to be elsewhere.

I cant understand management/ I.T./ business/ literary lingo anymore----don't belong anywhere.

who does my art represent except me, whose talk do i write, all i keep drawing from is my mind's chatter.

How do i publish when i lose most of the typed work----so i happily go back to my diary.

Metamorphosed like kafkas protagonist into a heavy slow creature, i fail to associate with.

i want to write more but later when i ma sure i can post it right.

Dark Thoughts

Picture : Dark thoughts by Romasanta


Desires, dreams, secrets, potentialities, paradoxes... regardless of how many may have touched my life, I remain an island seperated by my own pain and utterly disappointed within myself. I suffer in seclusion and weep in loneliness. The horizons beyond me look empty and void of the rainbow I so dearly seek.

I cannot be brave for I am not. I am a cowardly creature, pathetic and like a vagabond gypsy I roam the dimensions of my soul seeking for what, I dont clearly know.. for it still remains unknown and beyond my grasp.

I am a senile old maid trapped in this drab spiritless flesh. I am exhausted of life's sunshine for it does not exist. I am like a pathetic urchin holding out my hands to receive what kindly spirits give in the name of charity, love and compassion. I have no respect, no shame.

I think, therefore I am not, therefore I can never be.

Life in all it's glory is far weaker than death and death has beaconed me again and again... but left, for I have scorned it's beauty and stillness. I remain an entity in conflict within the perimetres of my own soul and nothingness. I am limited and stagnant and beyond salvage century after century and entity after entity.

Written at a time of great stress and change 2003, even now, sometimes, it still applies.

For Prateeksha

The way of the sage is to act but not to compete. Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Like the wandering minstrels (bauls), they dance and sing and celebrate life because they want to, not because they have to, not because life demands it of them. They have seen the face of god and touched his spirit. The way of the sage is to act, not to compete. And so they celebrate day after day amidst great strive, amidst great joys, it matters not amidst what. They celebrate life and life in turn partakes in their celebration.

You Prateeksha are a baul..... my stationary baul. Of great courage and heart, of a soul that is old and wise, of a mind that is transparent and clear... keep the celebrations going no matter what. Someday the universe is bound to respond. All my love and heart.

Scattered.

Scattered.
Originally uploaded by flatsandpopsicles

there is nothing to write today except this word...scattering. how scattered I see us all and really feel in my soul. I have taken a major decision and i do hope I am moving somewhere towards gathering that scattering of mine.
btw this image i have also chosen for one of my poems by the same title. i think scattering is so painful, yet essential for it teaches us to calm down and get our act together. however, arent we having a wee bit too much of it in this life time? what say you?
hoping that in the weeks to come ...we would be better off and also a little more at our work. and hey both of you, i really need your support through a lot that I am sowing. besides you might recall that winter is usually tough for me for it sets the moods hanging and the blues hit very fast. so watch for those signs and do be around- at least on the fone or something like this.

Long Lost

who did you find who was long last march? i am writing here just to tell you that you can do the same...just figure out how. nothing is final in this wonderful mechanism of communication, so dont you dare to give up so easily.
what is long lost and missed might be found someday. and what then? just see the opportunity that comes my way in work clothes -of reclaiming my long lost house. everyhting is a wildereness there and not much money in my pocket and no humans for compnay either, the winter coming too and whatnot. but i don't think i want to let it go. so i am finding what i had given up for lost. i hope i manage to hold it this time round.
the picture is my garden now fallow...with a threats or promises- all depends upon the current internal wiring

for today this says enuf

sometimes when someone who is this special to me, visits me...for that day a picture together says a lot more than mere words would. so here is one for both of us!

starting october tomorrow

ideally one should not procastinate. but i am not living in an ideal world. but starting tomorrow i.e first of october 2007 i am going to start living a life which is less miserable than i am doing it today. it must have elements of music in it-both sung and heard, writing, reading and planning the venture out. you girls, i hope you are going to see your mailboxes and accept the invitations to start contributing to this blog...otherwise how long can i keep doing things alone?!

dig your own well girls

listen i told you that i am starting out this venture...jointly, and sought your participation. now i am going to keep writing myself unless you open your mailboxes and accept the invitation and start pitching in. then you can call me up and let me know what two days or three days you want to write in this log.
me meanwhile...took ginger for the shots again. got a msg about adopting a dalmatian, and upon calling found an overpossessive, domineering woman at the other end- to obsessed with her own ideas of dog rearing. so let it be. have a headache now. mom and dad off for a few days. the manager of the home is me now. i do hope you are going to open your mailboxes soon.

frozen songs

havent been singing in the last whole week. today is friday and the last that i did manage was saturday, when mishraji was here. look at me. busy blogging. is this done? but grappling with the real life issues of servants, spaying, ticks! and all that. dont even wake up early in the morning any longer-coz i sleep late. any ideas...?